We Were Denied a Grand Theft Auto Movie Starring Eminem, Proof the Earth Is a Cold, Dead Place

This looks like a job for me.

In what should be considered definitive proof we live in the objectively worst timeline, Rockstar actually rejected a pitch for a Grand Theft Auto movie starring none other than Marshall Mathers, Eminem himself. Worse, it was during the height of Slim Shady's powers, in 2001, fresh off the success of both the record-breaking Marshall Mathers LP and the Academy Award-winning film 8 Mile.

The news comes to us via an interview between the BBC and games industry veteran Kirk Ewing, a personal friend of the Houser brothers, Sam and Dan, the founders of Rockstar. According to Ewing, a Hollywood agent approached the brothers with a $5m offer for the rights to a movie, starring Eminem and directed by Tony Scott of Top Gun fame. Sam Houser reportedly responded to the offer with a simple "not interested".

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